Alright ladies, I have a few questions for you! Do you often wish you had more friends? Do you feel uncomfortable going to big events and making friends? Do you feel like the social media groups are not helping? What I say next might sting a bit but I am committed to total honesty, maybe, just maybe, YOU ARE THE REASON you don’t have more friends. Since I moved to a new city in my 30’s, I have learned a lot about building friendships as an adult. Here are a few ways to guarantee spending Friday nights WITHOUT girlfriends:
- Making plans in social groups and then canceling them. Ladies, I see this a lot, you reach out and ask someone to meet you for happy hour or coffee and then later in the comments I see a “never mind or I can’t make it after all”. The perception of you and that group is now considered inconsistent and flakey. I know I am being harsh but perception turns into reality. We run The B Hive Apiary and the number one feedback we get is how reliable the members are when it comes to connecting in person.
- RSVP’ing to a bunch of events and never actually going to any of them! Ya’ll I see this ALL THE TIME. The same people RSVP’ing to events and not showing up. Here’s a hint, you have to show up to actually make connections and friends. RSVP’ing is fun to think about what your life might be like but imagine actually showing up and having that amazing life!
- When you show up, don’t sit there and wait for someone to talk to you. I know there are introverts in the world but there is a big jump from talking to one person and talking to the whole crowd. At every event you should try and talk to at least one new person and exchange numbers. It will be uncomfortable but you will eventually find that one other individual hates crowds just as much as you do and you guys will become #bff and no longer need to go to events.
- Don’t complain about not finding any friends and actually commit to making friends. When I met my best friend Angela, it was because that weekend, I set out to do one thing, make a new friend. I put in a social media group to meet up, I showed up and so did Angela. We started going to fun events together and actually started our own group (You’re reading from our group’s website now!)! So ladies, complaining doesn’t get you friends but committing to making new friends does.
- Get offline, go out and meet people!!! It’s ok to use apps and social media groups to know what is going on but you actually have to open your front door, be awkward and talk to a stranger. That stranger could be your next best friend.
Are you reading this and thinking this all scares me and it seems to hard to go out and make an effort? Then come to one of our events, we keep them small, intimate and make sure to have at least one person there to make sure every one feels welcome. Head to our homepage and check out our events section! Don’t live in Austin? Reach out to the event coordinator and explain your situation. A good coordinator will help you out! Either way, girl you are awesome and need girlfriends to tell you this everyday!